Anyone who knows me in “real” life, knows that I spend time chatting in an online community. The “topic” that we supposedly have in common is gardening, but there are as many non-gardeners as gardeners and most of us don’t mind.
The “chat room” is the place I take breaks and sometimes spend several hours per day. In the winter when I’m practically hibernating, I spend most evenings right here at the computer. Gary is by my side in the evenings, reading or watching TV, and we enjoy each other’s company when conversing or NOT. Occasionally I even relay what is said in the chat room.
It has happened for quite a few months that people who do not particularly like each other (even as much as you can “know” another online) have launched vicious attacks in the Gardening room. I have such an enemy or enemies. As much as I try not to let it bother me, many things which have been said play on my mind daily.
One chatter says that I am not a “success” in my businesses. She was relating an anecdote about having had her dog groomed (and she doesn’t know the meaning of the word “anecdote” because she believed that I was accusing her of not being factual). The grooming job cost $90 for 1.5 hours’ work, which indeed seems high; the dog has a magnificent coat and perhaps 2 groomers worked on her.
I live in an area of sparce population. We have community members of every economic group, but there are many who can’t pay $90 to have their dogs groomed, at least not often. Even if my businesses amount to a “community service”, who is anyone else to say that it is not “successful”? This really has me thinkin’!
For 23 years I’ve groomed and boarded pets for locals and travellers, old friends and new acquaintances. I’ve enjoyed almost every day of it and have never regretted hanging out my shingle for these services, which fit well with my college training and work experience with veterinarians. It also fit well with raising children (who are animal lovers as adults), and helping to operate a farm.
I do like the expression, “Cash poor and soul rich”, because I live in an area with just a few hundred people… sometimes money has been tight though the business wasn’t dormant. “Soul rich” refers to quality of life when we have enough to live on, and feel blessed by the lifestyle.
The one chatter and associates who keep attacking me seem to think that I should be too busy to visit in the Garden Room (an affectionate term for this particular online community). What business is it of theirs that, YEARS ago I said I couldn’t afford tennis shoes for the gym or was saving for a new computer? What is the measure of success anyway? Who cares if I spend even an appreciable part of every day during the winters, online? To “accuse” me of spending “24/7″ (which is an expression I’ve always disliked anyway) chatting is just preposterous, silly. To say that I neglect any of my human or animal companions is equally ridiculous. I’m getting so tired of it.
I’m also hounded for being “not as sweet” as I might appear. Of course I’m not unfailingly pleasant or polite, but I’ve been trying to live by the golden rule in the chat room as in real life. Regardless that I have tried to identify those who maliciously attack others in the Garden Room, and perhaps have even been mistaken when I point fingers or infer SOME associations, I have NEVER stooped to the level that some have. What’s up with: wishing others dead, or wishing them dreadful misfortune, calling people “c*nts” or twats or whores or whatever, insulting how they live or what they live in, their sexual orientation or any part of their history? What’s up with posting my identifying information in the chat room ?
I have never wished you were dead, nor to have any terrible illness or other tribulation, have never argued that you are in the profession you claim to be working in, always believed that you ARE married because you say you are married. You say that you served in the military (but their payment for education isn’t government subsidy, of course), and I’ve never seen any evidence that this isn’t true. Your home is expensive property because you pay $800 for rent (and that, you imply, makes it better than those who have finished paying for their house). You have been hurling insults for years, when all I’ve accused YOU of is cruelty to other people in various forms. If you don’t care what happens in “chat” and you care for no one who visits there, WHY do you impose your presence on the rest of us?
I think it’s hilarious that you’ve said in your “own” name that my children dislike me and that my husband won’t “sleep with” me. I’ve chatted away in this blog and in the Room about the times that Gary is away for work, to go skiing or to visit family. I’ve also written of the reasons that one of us needs to be home at almost all times. The last time that you or one of your associates said that my daughters had abandoned me, I had seen them ALL within that week! As for crying myself to sleep at night… the last time I shed a tear might well have been related to the ridiculous drama in chat (makes me sensitive, but hardly pathetic). And, by the way, the information that Gary had gone skiing with a beautiful young woman was a “plant” in this weblog, for those who are NOT our friends.
Those who ARE my friends who read this weblog: I thank you for your patience. I know I’m just feeding the malevolent soul of those who log all that is said in chat SOMEHOW, every hour of every day, it would seem. It’s too bad that THOSE people can’t find something better to do.
Apologies and thanks to a beloved relative for this expression; I want to quote:
“The problem with wrestling with a pig, is that you get dirty, and the pig enjoys it.”
~Ann