Ann's Weblog

I guess I wouldn't be so hard on someone ELSE who had done the same thing, but I FEEL like an idiot!

I left my digital camera outside, DAYS ago, and we have, in the meantime, had storms including heavy showers. There were many pictures of individual flowers and the vegetable gardens, and now, as I expected, the camera doesn't work when plugged into the computer. As it sits beside me, it is magically "turning itself on" over and over again as if brightly showing life, but the computer will not acknowledge it, so I suppose the memory card is wet and ruined. I'll take the batteries out and see what happens when left to dry out for a few days. Oh, and I've taken the card out (which has raindrops on it!).

It's a special little camera because Gary bought it for me. As digital cameras go, it's an older one, and I've since bought Gary "one of his own". I'm kicking myself, as this is such a waste and such carelessness on my part.

The words of my stepmother come back to me every time I do something like this, or crack a cup, or leave something undone, "You never take care of anything; you never have and you never will.". It was not fair of her, and it was said in anger, but the words haunt me.

The spanakopita for the Bistro is in the oven. I've picked and washed the salad greens that the restaurant said they wanted. This afternoon I have a large dog to clip and wash. At some point I MUST get laundry done at the laundromat because I'm out of clean clothes that I LIKE and which FIT.

Tomorrow is the first Farmer's Market of the season, and there are many things I need to do, not the least of all to print raffle tickets for the basket we're giving away IN SEPTEMBER. Everyone who makes a purchase from a Market table gets their name in the draw, and the prize will contain contributions from all the "regular" sellers.

Tomorrow I'll take spanakopita and probably cheesecake to the market, the jams and horseradish that I've made (if I get labels printed and put on the jars), and some perennial plants. That doesn't sound like so much. So now, I think things are actually under control. Even so, I'm just too busy to kick myself any more about the digital camera no matter how precious it seems (or seemed).

As if I didn't stew enough already, I've been troubled by my own attitude of NOT WANTING to go anywhere. I love the summers and the farmer's markets and the pet boarding. Perhaps if there was ANYONE who I could think of that I could trust with the kennels, I'd be willing to leave with Gary for a weekend or so. I COULD survive without participating in ONE Farmer's Market. Every time my dear hubby speaks aloud of some function that we could or should or might go to, I feel my heart sink. I'm torn between wanting to travel with him, because we get along well and have lots of fun, and feeling unable to leave our place. I think to myself, " Maybe if I just keep working like this for 10 more years, I'll officially retire and then I'll go..." , and "Will he LEAVE ME because I'm such a wet blanket? ". I think that if I keep refusing to go see family or jazz concerts or all of the things Gary thinks are good plans, it might come to that.

Okay, well now I have myself worked into a tizzy again, but there's no more time to write about it.

I wish I could have uploaded some of the garden pictures I took. Perhaps when the camera dries out it will work again (and if I have to replace it, I'd better get a SPORT or DIVING model!).

Take care, my friends.

This morning I spent quite a bit of time writing to this weblog, and then the power failed. There was no warning, no storm outside, nothing to make me think I'd lose all my text. I found out soon after that a beaver had fallen a tree right onto a power line at a spot near here.

I haven't written for ages, and I can't believe how fast June has gone by. It might be apparent that I've stopped stewing over my "loyal" customer sending her dogs to the new groomer; after all, every day brings new things to stew about!

I'm semi-joking. The risk with an on-line diary is that someone I'm troubled about might read about themselves, and in turn be more hurt or fretful than I was in the first place. It's only cathartic for me if I don't think I'm upsetting anyone. There are times that I should confront someone or deal with things differently, but I am a chicken-shit. There.

Early in June, I had a wild idea. For a long time (months, many months, and then years) I had been wanting to see a beloved aunt and uncle in Edmonton. I also had not seen my sister since November which is not a long time, considering we don't get together too often. In the same thought process, I decided that I could go to Alberta to buy some apple trees from a nursery which was going out of business, see my sister and family, see our aunt and uncle, and skeedaddle home... all in two days. And that is precisely what I did.

One of the happy results of my visit to Rae's home was that her dear daughter has been in touch with me via email. That 15 yr. old girl must be the bright star in her mom's life. She has inner beauty and is blessed with physical loveliness. I wish I could see more of her, and perhaps I will be able to as time goes on.

The visit with favourite aunt and uncle was nice, though short. Our cousin, their daughter, was visiting, so we three women went out to lunch, leaving my uncle at home with what HE wanted for lunch. It is hard to see loved ones failing; my aunt told me that I will not see my uncle again. My aunt, even though her 87th birthday was the very day I was there, is still a little spitfire! I will make an effort to see them again before a sad occasion.

The purchase of apple trees for reselling turned out to be a good business move. I've planted 5 for myself, but of the other TWENTY, only three are left. Now I'm "pumped" to get more nursery stock in the spring! One of my online chat friends owns a large nursery in Saskatchewan, and he has been encouraging me to expand business in that direction.

Yesterday I dug, cleaned, processed and bottled HORSERADISH. I wanted to remove the plant from where it had volunteered, and got several large roots, so now I have a dozen jars to sell at the Farmer's Markets. Last year it was a hot seller... pun intended. Also, I made a batch of blueberry jam, with berries picked from the health food store. Soon I'll be obliged to make strawberry jam, as we're getting quite a few every day from our own patch. Yummy.

This morning I got busy and poured several "rhubarb leaf" stepping stones. All I did was mix water with cement (no sand, gravel or other stuff), and pour into garbage can lids on which I'd laid a suitably sized leaf. I went into town for coffee after that, and when I returned, I noticed that I really didn't have ANY of the molds LEVEL where they sat on the lawn... but too late now! They will still be good enough for me, and I might even sell some.

A funny thing happened on my way to pouring stepping stones. I KNOW that I had lifted the 80 pound bag of cement into a corner of my grooming shop "all by myself". I had bought it from the hardware store, packed it out to the truck, and into the shop, last spring. TODAY, when I went to lift that bag of cement, I could hardly budge it. Is this what happens when we don't work out, or when we turn fifty? I finally wrested that bag into a picnic cooler, and then because it now had "handles", I was able to drag it outside, lift it onto a stump, and then scoop cement powder into the wheelbarrow in which I was mixing. The rest of the project went smoothly enough, considering I'm not a perfectionist. We'll see.

I've been at this long enough, and I'm surprised you're still reading! Thank you, dear "Annie's weblog" fan, for checking in with me. I'll try to be more faithful to posting entries, AND/OR see you in the Garden Chat room !