We had a short vacation, for the occasion of a friend’s son’s bar mitzvah, held in Victoria. It was so nice to leave town for 5 days, though it felt so good to come home. I can see that if we were to have MORE “holidays”, we’d have to gradually increase the duration in order to get accustomed to being away. That’s one of MY issues: not wanting to be away from home much at all.
On our way to Vancouver Island, we visited my daughter who attends Capilano College. What a nice visit that was, though too short. On Friday morning, we took the ferry from Horseshoe Bay to Nanaimo (which is a little adventure in itself), and then travelled down the Island highway to Victoria.
After we arrived at the hotel (one of the fine old ones in the city) we had time to visit the swimming pool and hot tub and to NAP! Then it was time to attend a dinner that was held especially for those who came from out-of-town, which included just about everyone invited to the bar mitzvah. Even the guest of honour and his family are not from Victoria. This function was held in one of the fine old homes of Oak Bay, and the doctor who has owned it since February had done some beautiful upgrading and decorating; even her kitchen RANGE was an “AGA”, which costs as much as a small car.
By Friday evening I was already getting over my shyness, somewhat. I wasn’t happy to have my picture taken at the dinner, but then, I will probably never actually SEE that photo. The food was fantastic: sushi, traditional Jewish dishes such as kuegel and Challah, salads and fruit, turkey and more. The dessert table was separate from the main buffet, and totally laden with bundt cakes and pastries; I took too long to get back to the desserts, and the selection was decimated by then!
On Saturday morning we just took the elevator up to the 18th floor where there is a nice restaurant at that hotel. I ordered eggs benedict made with wild smoked salmon… what a treat! There were folks at the restaurant who live not far from us in the Robson Valley, and THEIR family members too. So I was among friends and other friendly people. What surprised me was that nobody was in a particular hurry to get to the bar mitzvah; what I didn’t realize was that the first part of the “ceremony” was a regular Saturday morning SERVICE. However, I wanted to experience the entire occasion. We got to the synagogue only a little after the service started, and one of the things that surprised me was that the congregation is free to chat and greet each other or move about even as the Rabbi is speaking.
Mostly I followed along in the prayer book which of course, had the English translations as well as the Hebrew scripture. Most of the verses of praise are chanted or sung in tunes that, musically, I could not make sense of, but are enchanting to listen to nevertheless.
The most wonderful portion of the service was when the bar mitzvah (the 13 yr. old boy) read from the Torah, spoke of his own life and aspirations, gave thanks to God, family and friends. He is an eloquent young man, wise beyond his years, very intuitive and kind. It was my privilege to be part of his celebration.
After the service there was LUNCH! I was already thinking, “Oh, my goodness, we’re supposed to EAT again?”. I was wishing I hadn’t had such a substantial breakfast. The meal that was served was a cold buffet; it was nice though not elaborate… OVEREATING was optional, and for once, I didn’t do it.
I thought to myself, at this point, “The hard part is over.”. Dress code for the Bar Mitzah itself was rather formal, and I’d found only ONE outfit in my closet that fit and appeared formal enough. After the lunch, the crowd dispersed again, and many folks mentioned that they were going to sleep or visit until the dinner and dance.
We went back to the hotel and our room where I actually slept for awhile. It seemed to me that I should tour Victoria or do SOMETHING special, but I really didn’t have the energy for it. I didn’t swim, and I’ll tell you why: I was using my very snug-fitting swimsuit as a smoothing UNDERGARMENT! Now isn’t THAT a small bit of ingenuity? Naturally, I didn’t want to get my very special secret SMOOTHER wet before I had to dress up again for the evening! I’d have been standing there with the hotel’s complimentary blowdryer for goodness knows HOW long. Gary and I did get out for a walk around downtown, after which we found our friends and had a drink, and then, guess what? It was time to go EAT again.
We found the convention hall with no trouble and enjoyed a sumptious hot banquet. What followed was dancing to Klesmer-style music, and then a mix of many other kinds. Gary and I didn’t dance very much, and the party seemed to break up fairly early. We ended up back in the hot tub and watching TV; this still made it a restful time and a nice holiday evening.
And guess what was in store for us the next morning? Buffet BRUNCH! I had no trouble waiting until 10:30 for this last gathering (up on the 18th floor again). Brunch was great, featuring eggs benedict again, croissant, pancakes & muffins, cheeses, fruit, and more.
In the afternoon, I touched base with two of my girl cousins on Mom’s side of the family. I hadn’t been on Vancouver Island for 24 years, and had not seen these relatives for that long. My youngest cousin, after whom one of my daughters is named, was not able to meet with us. Her sister was delighted to take a taxi to downtown Victoria to visit with me and to meet Gary. The three of us had tea in the 18th floor restaurant, and then my cousin and I walked around downtown for a little while, then had Starbucks coffee. We hugged and vowed to keep in touch, and then she was gone, on the bus, back to her home. My sister and I treasure our relatives especially on our mom’s side of the family; we may not see any of them as often as we’d like, but there is a comforting bond even so.
Gary and I had a nice dinner in a Caribbean-style restaurant called “the Reef”. That was a treat, too, but by that time I was thinking that I’d better get home and start NOT EATING! I’ve done fairly well not OVER-eating, at least, since we’ve been back.
Today marks one year since Dad passed away. Maybe that is, on some level, a reason I’ve been feeling so blue (might explain TODAY, anyway). *SIGH* Ah, well, time marches on, and death is a part of life, and all that jazz.
A friend pointed out to me today that I’ve been writing things about OTHERS in my weblog that are too personal, even identifying who it is that I write about. In haste, I returned home to reread as many of my blog entries that I could before preparing dinner. My friend is absolutely correct, even though the examples that she used were, in my mind, either simply benign, or empathetic and supportive. Some entries are still violations of friends’ or relatives’ privacy and so I RESOLVE to behave better in the future. I’m upset and feeling sad about this. My intentions have been good and though I’m aware that this weblog is somewhat a work of creative writing, I do not intend to incriminate anyone nor cause alarm or hurt feelings.
I was told once by my husband’s family that his grandmother was a dear soul who “never said an unkind word about anyone in her entire life”. (Actually, I had a grandmother like that, also.) Sometimes I think to myself, “Well, it’s too late for that, but I can do better!”. Often, if I participate in gossip, I’m aware of the example set by those who were or ARE unfailingly GENTLE all of their lives, while still being accomplished, wise, creative and dynamic.
I really don’t know how I can manage to make so many mistakes. I overreact to almost everything that is said to me, feel that I am constantly miscontrued, and lash out at those I love when I think I’m merely protecting myself.
I’m going to go back in “Ann’s Weblog” and edit some passages which reveal too much, or seem judgmental. Therefore, if you’re reading this, and you can’t see what entries have caused any fuss, be aware that I’ve done some “blanding” of my creative musings. It is only right to do so, because what I want out of life is to hurt no one, and have no one hurt me.
Thanks for reading, I think. I’ll see if anything MORE can come back to bite me in the butt.
~Ann
