Blustery, miserable day
…but it has been just a fine day anyway. I really didn’t push myself to work outside; the wind was fierce and cold, and most of the day there was driving rain. The drops were cold and almost SPOKE of the snow soon to come.
Although I could tell myself that it was too windy and cold, this didn’t get the bulbs planted. I still have about 1200 left, and I have a plan. Gary has tilled the garden and is “done” with it; it will be easy digging THERE and I shall make a trench and throw hundreds in it. OF COURSE, I’ll carefully set those tulips and daffodils in the upright position at approximately the right depth. The bulbs that I planted on Sunday were put into a “crosswise” row in the garden that I HAD reserved for perennials; I dug out and actually discarded many plants in favour of the fall bulbs. However, THAT is very hard digging, and I consoled myself that I was also getting rid of the quack grass and other weeds, or at least gaining some control of them.
The head librarian suggested that I could set up a table with my bulbs on at the library Friday and Saturday, and then just donate a percentage or a gift. It is a nice offer and great suggestion, and I will haul the damn things down there for one last try at snagging sales. One elderly lady from town actually was telling me what prices were for bulbs at SUPERSTORE in Prince George, and I patiently explained that no one like ME could compete with those prices. I will keep planting these bulbs for myself, as winter and snow will come soon. They will not be wasted.
I was at the Beanery for lunch again today. My friend who cooks at the coffee shop makes soup and sandwich lunches that make people feel totally nurtured (speaking, of course, for myself!). There used to be a more elaborate “specials” board when I worked there: we always had TWO major entrées, and sandwiches were, for ME, an inconvenient sideline. I was thrilled to be the cook there for about 6 weeks (last year in April), but I was getting burned out and couldn’t keep up with dog grooming and chores at home.
Other than dropping off some craft items for sale at the Whistle Stop Gallery, all I did today was clean a drawer, bake cookies, and “work” at the computer. I picked up some things at the post office which I took over to the Beanery to “show and tell”; one friend thinks I’ve become hooked on eBay again, and told me to drop a hint if I want them to “do an intervention”! In truth, I’ve been thinking of listing some things for sale on eBay again… books that I’ve bought impulsively, or garage sale finds.
Really, we’ve had almost NO summer weather. What I’m thinking about winter now is “bring it on!”. I even have some Christmas gifts organized, on the shelves or in my mind.
The only thing about winter that I truly dread is my tendency to be inactive and put on weight. I haven’t lost the weight that I thought I MIGHT this summer. Every single morning I wake up with thoughts of rebuke for myself. The negative thinking and reproach seems to loop endlessly in my mind: I would NEVER, EVER, be this hard on a friend or a stranger! After I get the bulbs planted and I am not so busy dog grooming (in other words, when I’m tempted to “hole up” for the winter) I resolve to go back to the gym in town, or AT LEAST out to my grooming shop to use the elliptical trainer. I feel too shy to appear in the gym, but I MUST do it. I feel heavy and old, and though I’m looking forward to a Bar Mitzvah that Gary and I will travel to in 2 weeks, I’m also feeling very self-conscious, mortified, to meet new people. It’s only MY fault and my responsibility, and I KNOW what to do.
Well, on that cheery note, I’ll sign off, and go surfing eBay again and chat with the Gardening pals online. Hope you are well, any who have come to read my blog. Thanks for visiting.
~Ann
