I’m an Idiot - Part 2
Well… tonight my hubby checked the oil in my truck, and there was almost not enough to register on the dipstick. By the time the POINT about keeping up to date on oil changes and CHECKING the oil was made, I felt like 2ยข… again. No excuse is really good enough; even if I argue (with MYSELF, not hubby) that I’ve been so busy, blah blah, nothing would compensate for ruining the motor in my truck. I just HAVE to do better and be more “with it”.
Now one thing I believe is that there was a wee bit more oil in the truck than we first believed. It was STILL seriously low, but two litres was enough to fill it right up again. The truck was parked on a bit of a SLANT you see. After I get back from Vancouver where my daughter Susan is going back to college, I must get the vehicle in for a proper oil change. Maybe I can take care of it WHILE on the road somewhere… Kamloops perhaps.
I’m concentrating on building myself up: I’ve been in such a slump lately. I DO count my blessings while being so sad about the folks in the southern states affected by hurricane Katrina. I’m incensed to hear that Pres. Bush has declined help from our government and our armed forces, that arrogant bastard.
What’s my problem? Indeed, nothing I can really put my finger on. I’ve been plagued by feelings of inferiority for as long as I can remember having feelings. There is a tape that loops endlessly in my mind, “Not good enough, not good enough, not good enough.”. During the good days or even weeks, I can tell myself, “Yes you are, yes you are !”. I have so many blessings, so I must keep talking to myself: and if only I could TAPE OVER THE TAPE !
I sure have mixed feelings about this time of year. The work of harvesting, participation in Farmer’s Markets (where I make welcome income and also positive affirmation), flower gardening, and a certain rhythm of dog boarding… all slow down. However, it seems like we have had so little in the way of sunshine this summer. I can’t believe how fast the months disappear!
Well, I’m going to check into the Yahoo Garden Chat rooms and hope there’s not too much animosity in the air there.
Thanks for reading; please be aware that I’m not so depressed that I’m in any danger. *Sigh* Tomorrow is another day.
~ Ann
